I was about to lead a workshop for adults a few years ago. As I entered the room I heard someone say, “She’s not the artist. She doesn’t look arty enough!” I had to laugh inwardly but with steely determination I showed them who the artist was. And as a result, gained their respect. You see what they didn’t know was, I was once a young art student and I was very concerned about fitting the “artist narrative”. I was Vegetarian for ethical reasons (tick). My nose was pierced (tick). I had multiple ear piercings (tick). Henna died hair (tick). Army& Navy surplus store clothes (tick). And of course the “right” record collection (tick). But who was I kidding! I was lost and had no direction.
So I walked away from “being an artist” for a number of years and trained as a teacher. I loved being a facilitator, teaching practical skills and opening up a child’s imagination - showing them how to think creatively and to be more Leonardo da Vinci than Sam Altman. But what I wasn’t interested in was being an art educator, teaching through a smart board presentation from behind a laptop, collecting data for an outmoded education system - a system ill equipped to understand that human ingenuity will better prepare our children’s children for the future - not the repetition of known facts, not the status quo in which education has sat comfortably for far too long.
However, it was as a result of teaching, and the need to look further afield that I found the fire back in my belly - to have another go as a career artist. It has taken me a number of years to actually call myself an artist again and here I am.
Sometimes you just have to be terrible at what you do, to get better at what you do.